CAUSES OF DIVORCE

Marriage, the union of a man and a woman for the purpose of forming a family, is one of the most respected social institutions. In the past, divorce was very much looked down upon with divorcees shunned by society. This attitude has changed but divorce rates have also increased. Nobody plans or expects to get divorced when they take their vows but it does sometimes happen. A more permissive atmosphere is certainly a factor but is it the only factor? There are two main reasons for the increasing divorce rate: the increasing self centeredness in modern society and jumping into marriage too quickly.

Selfishness and self centeredness are unfortunate consequences of the move towards individualism in the modern world. The feelings, rights, wishes and desires of the individual are upheld to the detriment of institutions like marriage where these attitudes won’t work. Such a person would find compassion, tolerance, consideration, sharing and empathy very tough. There is only so far a person such as this will tolerate the give and take a marriage necessitates. The inevitable consequence is divorce. The fact that divorce proceedings are so easy in the modern world helps speed up the process.

There is an old English adage: look before you leap; this is true for marriage as well. Marriage means two individuals from completely different backgrounds, sometimes even different cultures, decide to spend the rest of their lives together in a small apartment. From this perspective marriage sounds insane. What makes it work is love, friendship, and sympathy all of which come from familiarity. People who don’t know each other well enough don’t have the familiarity and friendship to fall back on; the blind love that brought them together won’t last and with nothing to fall back on, divorce is inevitable.

In conclusion, although a happy marriage is to be desired for all kinds of reasons, divorce is also a fact of life. It is a traumatic experience yet it can be avoided with the right attitude to relationships with people the most fundamental of which is marriage.