MARRIAGE VERSUS COHABITATION

Families are the smallest social unit of society and have existed, in various forms, ever since people first started living in settled communities. The decision to spend one’s life together with someone else and start a family is not one to be taken lightly so it is often formalized in a social, legal and / or religious ceremony. This ensures stability, peace and order in society. In the modern world, there are many who feel it is unnecessary to adhere to age the old rules of marriage and who feel that a promise made to a partner is sufficient to make the union binding. Such people feel marriage is a private union and does not concern the state or the Church. Although many people prefer going down the official route and formalize their marriage in the eyes of the law, there is, in fact very little difference between marriage and cohabitation. As a result, it is up to the couple which path they decide to take.

The decision to spend the rest of your life with someone and share everything with him/her is a tough one. Prospective partners may come from very different family backgrounds, may move in very different social circles and may have varying hobbies and interests. This being the case, the chances the marriage will not work are high and divorce a real possibility. Thus, is it wise to tie oneself up in a lot of legal red tape? Is it not better to keep things informal, make each other a promise and stick to it? Does it really matter if marriage vows are witnessed by the state and/or the clergy? Looking at it this way, it is obviously more practical to have a trial period at least to see how things go and then formalize the union at a later date should it be felt necessary to do so.

Cohabitation has often been strongly opposed by major religions and the state on moral grounds in the case of the former, and on practical terms in the case of the latter. Major religions wish to preserve monogamy to maintain law and order in society and prevent moral degeneration. The fear of eternal damnation is thought to be the best way to encourage monogamy and thus prevent debauchery. Yet is instilling fear really the best way to preserve moral integrity; would it not be better for people to uphold accepted moral values in society because they wish to? Assuming that the decision to live together outside marriage automatically leads to depravity is a false argument and completely nonsensical. As for the state, what is practical for the state may not necessarily be right to people who wish to cohabit. Thankfully, this fact has now been accepted in developed countries where the laws are rapidly catching up with social trends. The tax and inheritance laws that are valid for married couples are now valid for cohabiting couples too. The same is true for the status of children. The stigma attached to cohabitation is now a thing of the past in most developed countries.  

To conclude, whether cohabitation can be an alternative for marriage or not is a very tired topic that needs to be shelved. Society has moved on in most parts of the world, and demands have changed. There is no going back so in the words of Bob Dylan, those who disagree “should not block up the hallways” and should “move out of the way”.